Bring Awareness to Someone You Miss

Bring to awareness someone you miss…

From time to time, people that we miss enter our thoughts; sometimes this is intentional and sometimes this is unintentional. I am inviting you now to bring awareness to someone you miss. This may be someone that you have let go in your life, or they let you go, perhaps this is someone who has passed away, it could even be a pet. When this happens to me, I tend to reflect on what did they bring to my life that was of value, what did I learn from this relationship, how has it helped me become the person that I am today, what part of my life journey did this person play a part in?

Here is my most recent story…

I wanted to find a puppy for my daughter and son. I had big hopes in finding this puppy and welcoming the pup into home to our family. At this time, I didn’t have a lot of money and even though my children always had what they needed in life, I felt like I just really wanted to give Carley and Hunter something they wanted.

One fall day in October of 2009, Carley, Hunter and I made the trek to Ettrick Wisconsin to look at a liter of puppies that were old enough to come home with us. There were just a couple things I for sure wanted in this puppy. One, I wanted a Golden Retriever and two, I wanted it to be a female Golden Retriever. Other than that, I wanted the kids to choose which pup we brought home with us that day.

The kids quickly made their choice, she was a precious little female Golden Retriever. On the way home, I told the kids that they could name her, and they would be taking care of her. This new addition to our family was for them and that meant she was their responsibility. When we arrived at home, the pup was of course sweetly cuddling with us and was the most laid back, relaxed, chill puppy I had ever seen. I thought, “wow, how did I luck out?” After some deliberation, the kids finally named this precious puppy. The chosen name was Sunny. Hmmm, quite fitting really. I asked the kids, “so why did you pick this pup?” Their response, “because she was the cleanest puppy there. The rest were all covered with mud Mom.” Again, I thought, “wow, how did I luck out?”

Quickly, I realized Sunny was not “just for my children” and that she really was such a huge blessing to my life. Day in and day out, Sunny was always there for me. Whether my day was a good one or a bad one. No matter how upset I got at her for finally becoming a puppy (you all know the puppy stage) used to her surroundings, she always gave me unconditional love.

In the beginning, Sunny was supposed to sleep in her kennel. Well, after a couple cold nights and a few whimpers (not clarifying if they were mine or Sunny’s 😊), Sunny became my sleeping companion. We literally would snuggle every night and silently enjoy each other’s presence. We became best friends and comforted each other through illness, pain, heart break, tears, loss, frustration, anger…we also were there to celebrate successes, take walks, play ball, took car rides, cooked and together, shoveled snow together, mowed the grass together, laughed together.

The day before Thanksgiving in 2017, I had to make the hardest decision of my life thus far. I had to decide to make Sunny comfortable as she endured kidney failure or say good bye to her and allow her to reunite with her friend Emma (her 4-legged best friend), my Grandparents, and a few good friends. I made the choice of letting her go. I didn’t want Sunny to suffer any more than she already had. I didn’t want to selfishly decide for my own benefit.

I had no idea how hard it would be to say good bye to Sunny and to continue to live without her. I didn’t quite realize until the final good bye just how much I depended on her and how much she has helped me in my life, and my kid’s lives. To know Sunny was to really love Sunny. She really was the most laid back, relaxed, chill dog I have ever met. She had such a comforting presence about her that my heart will always hang on to. I think of her every day, I smile every day when I feel her still with me.

Whether we have lost a 2-legged or a 4-legged family member, it hurts, and it is hard to let go. However, the beauty is, now I have more eyes watching over me and my children every day. Even though it hurts, that must mean that I was blessed with the opportunity to have someone to love and hold such meaning in my life. Without experiencing such genuine and authentic love, I cannot experience such genuine and authentic loss. I am lucky to have experienced this depth of a connection which was filled with organic love and appreciation. Sunny has taught me the unconditional love and support that only a she could.

It takes time to heal after such loss. For me, it is important to allow myself to grieve. These moments come and go. One day I am happy and see all the positives. I remember all the fond memories that we created as a family. The next day, I am deeply saddened and feel so alone and lost. I crave the feeling of having her back with us, so we can create more memories. It is important for me to embrace whatever emotion comes to me, feel the emotion, acknowledge the emotion, and then let it go. The loved one lost will always remain in my heart, in my memory, and will also remain part of my life’s story.

RIP Sunny Girl

September 2, 2009-November 22, 2017